F@#*! God#$*&! Mother@$#*!!!!!!!!!
OK, so we needed a car battery for our SUV
this morning.
Sounds simple enough, right?
HUBBY:
Just go to Costco, batteries are cheap there.
(extremely slow in the whole car parts, prices,
etiquette) WIFE:
So what kind of battery do I get?
HUBBY:
I don't know, just ask whoever is behind the
counter.
(sort of patient but NOT wanting to go to
town for a boring battery) WIFE:
OK, so what do I ask for? What KIND of
battery? Is there like a certain number I
need or a certain amount of energy? What?
HUBBY:
I don't know, just look under the hood at
the battery but make sure you get one that
has all the connections in the right place.
(patience is fading, lack of caffeine hence
headache starting to kick in) WIFE:
First of all, I don't know HOW to get the
hood on the car up, and I have no idea
what connections you are talking about
and if I DID, then I wouldn't be freaking
out about buying a battery! Could you
help me out just a little bit??????
(with major rolling of eyes) HUBBY:
Come outside, lets look at it.
(freezing my ass off in purple fuzzy
slippers in 30 degree weather,
with nice hot coffee getting cold
inside) WIFE:
Which button do I push to open the
hood?
FASTFORWARD
(late for work, frustrated) HUBBY:
Make sure the battery is this many
inches by this many inches and the
positive and negative posts are here
and here. But they might ask you
about a core charge so find out about
that, too.
(patience is gone, as is feeling in
fingers and toes) WIFE:
What the HELL is a CORE CHARGE?
(hopping into own vehicle which
starts right up with lots of power and
energy and HEAT) HUBBY:
They'll want you to turn in an old
battery when you buy the new one.
(pissed off with fire in eyes) WIFE:
How the F#@* am I supposed to
take our OLD battery out of our car?
Am I supposed to just do that in the
middle of Costco parking lot or WHAT?
(extremely late but extremely warm sitting
in running vehicle)
HUBBY:
There's an old battery sitting outside the
shed, just take that one in. Have a good
day, bye!
(screaming headache, freezing hands and
extremely irritated) WIFE:
But which button do I push to close the
hood?
FASTFORWARD
(mad at hubby and the world for having
to spend morning driving to local city which
is normally a 15 minute drive but now takes
30-45 due to construction, bypasses favorite
latte stand to take the shortcut that might
get to Costco in 25 minutes instead of 45,
pulls into parking lot at EXACTLY 8:30 in
the morning and finds parking lot completely
empty, drives by front door to see when
damn store opens, sees it doesn't open until
10:00) WIFE:
F#*@!! God@~#*! Motherf#*@!!
(so mad has to sit calmly for one minute
so hands stop shaking to call hubby at
work)WIFE:
So this place does NOT OPEN for an
hour and a half and I am NOT going
to sit here for an hour and a half and I
can't go anywhere ELSE to kill time
because if I shut the car off it might not
start again so what is it EXACTLY that
you want me to do because I am extremely
close to pulling off my fingernails and
running into RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
right at the moment!
(happy to be anywhere but in wife's
car at the moment) HUBBY:
Just go to Walmart. Batteries are
cheap there, too, and I think they
opened at 7:00!
this morning.
Sounds simple enough, right?
HUBBY:
Just go to Costco, batteries are cheap there.
(extremely slow in the whole car parts, prices,
etiquette) WIFE:
So what kind of battery do I get?
HUBBY:
I don't know, just ask whoever is behind the
counter.
(sort of patient but NOT wanting to go to
town for a boring battery) WIFE:
OK, so what do I ask for? What KIND of
battery? Is there like a certain number I
need or a certain amount of energy? What?
HUBBY:
I don't know, just look under the hood at
the battery but make sure you get one that
has all the connections in the right place.
(patience is fading, lack of caffeine hence
headache starting to kick in) WIFE:
First of all, I don't know HOW to get the
hood on the car up, and I have no idea
what connections you are talking about
and if I DID, then I wouldn't be freaking
out about buying a battery! Could you
help me out just a little bit??????
(with major rolling of eyes) HUBBY:
Come outside, lets look at it.
(freezing my ass off in purple fuzzy
slippers in 30 degree weather,
with nice hot coffee getting cold
inside) WIFE:
Which button do I push to open the
hood?
FASTFORWARD
(late for work, frustrated) HUBBY:
Make sure the battery is this many
inches by this many inches and the
positive and negative posts are here
and here. But they might ask you
about a core charge so find out about
that, too.
(patience is gone, as is feeling in
fingers and toes) WIFE:
What the HELL is a CORE CHARGE?
(hopping into own vehicle which
starts right up with lots of power and
energy and HEAT) HUBBY:
They'll want you to turn in an old
battery when you buy the new one.
(pissed off with fire in eyes) WIFE:
How the F#@* am I supposed to
take our OLD battery out of our car?
Am I supposed to just do that in the
middle of Costco parking lot or WHAT?
(extremely late but extremely warm sitting
in running vehicle)
HUBBY:
There's an old battery sitting outside the
shed, just take that one in. Have a good
day, bye!
(screaming headache, freezing hands and
extremely irritated) WIFE:
But which button do I push to close the
hood?
FASTFORWARD
(mad at hubby and the world for having
to spend morning driving to local city which
is normally a 15 minute drive but now takes
30-45 due to construction, bypasses favorite
latte stand to take the shortcut that might
get to Costco in 25 minutes instead of 45,
pulls into parking lot at EXACTLY 8:30 in
the morning and finds parking lot completely
empty, drives by front door to see when
damn store opens, sees it doesn't open until
10:00) WIFE:
F#*@!! God@~#*! Motherf#*@!!
(so mad has to sit calmly for one minute
so hands stop shaking to call hubby at
work)WIFE:
So this place does NOT OPEN for an
hour and a half and I am NOT going
to sit here for an hour and a half and I
can't go anywhere ELSE to kill time
because if I shut the car off it might not
start again so what is it EXACTLY that
you want me to do because I am extremely
close to pulling off my fingernails and
running into RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
right at the moment!
(happy to be anywhere but in wife's
car at the moment) HUBBY:
Just go to Walmart. Batteries are
cheap there, too, and I think they
opened at 7:00!
posted by Peepshow at 9:46 AM
13 Comments:
Welcome back. I missed reading your blog and can totally relate to the frustrating husband thing. Hope you finally got the battery and are back on the road.
ALright, next time just go to Les Schwab! They do everything for you! :)
AND, since when did hubby get a 2nd car???
Oh yeah, and that was a funny story. I can just imagine you running around freaking out about the battery. (hehehehhhe) i am assuming you finally got a new battery?
Jodi,
Because my dad drives his work truck every day, he lets HUBBY drive the nice Dodge pickup. It's a day-to-day thing depending on the situation! We still have HUBBY'S very old green truck that he'll probably end up driving here before too long.
Lorelei,
Thank you for the sweet comment. It feels good to be back in the land of "blog"!
Nice blog. I know simple things turn into huge things.
Yeah...what IS a core charge?
As an equally frustrating husband, I appologize for yours.
I'm sure he didn't mean to frustrate you, he just can't help himself.
i ALWAYS get stuck doing those things. i mean cmon, why does he think i married him? i wanted someone to do the car stuff. so now i just go and 99% of the time the people working there know what you need. and when it's wrong i get to tell hub "you should have gone and it would be settled by now"
it's all about the blame. thanks for coming by.
I would've killed him.
I can totally understand - I know NOTHING when it comes to cars .. only good thing is, my hubby knows this lol
ps thanks for stopping by my ramblings
First off, thank you for stopping by my insanity. As for your hubby, sadly, I guess we all get frustrated at things we thing should be simple. I am equally frustrated when my wife wants me to do our daughters' hair. She talks me through it, but I never can do it.
Thank you for stopping by my insanity. As for your husband, I know we all get that way sometimes. My wife gets frustrated with me when she wants me to do our daughters' hair. She walks me through it all but I still can't do it. Anyway, hang in there.
Thanks for stopping by my blog, and for the very kind comments. :)
No. Way.
You are far too smart for me to believe this.... then again, I know plenty of way smart people who don't understand me when I tell them to "look in the Start Menu".... or even "hit any key"...
Ahh well - for future notice, if it ever happens again... you know, some places will just do the whole thing - take out battery, put new one in, for the price of the battery. Walmart MIGHT do that.. not sure.
Now, to get back at the hubby for his insensitivity (and apparent immunity to the cold)... make him go buy you some feminine products at the store.... we are almost never immune to THAT one...
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